Life has its own characteristics, like water or electricity, or fire.
One characterize of life is that it loves to make a fool out of people.
For example. If you brag that you have never gotten a speeding ticket in your life, you’ll get pulled over the next day.
One thing that always bothered me was that I had a habit of losing things, and one time I needed a flashlight because we had a power outage, and the flashlight wasn’t where I thought I had left it.
Finally I went to the hardware store and bought a new one. When I got home my girlfriend Stacey said that she found the flashlight while I was gone. Now this was really common, in fact, in so common that I discovered a pattern. And it dawned on me, I would always find the lost item only after I went out and replaced it with a new one.
Stacey said, “Now you can take that flashlight back and get a refund.”
“No, I have a better idea, I said, and I took the old flashlight went outside and smashed it against the concrete, shattering the case, and sending the batteries down the driveway.
“Why did you do that, Stacey asked, looking at me like I was crazy.”
“Because I’m not going to let life make a fool of me, I said.”
“What are you talking about, she asked.”
“You magically found the flashlight only after I went out a bought a new one, but if I had not gone out and bought a new one, then we never would have found it, I replied.”
“I don’t believe that, she said”
“Well it’s true, you just don’t realize that life cheats, I said.”
“Your just mad because I found the flashlight and you didn’t, she said.”
“You “magically” found the flashlight, after it was too late, and I decided to buy a new one, I replied.”
“Your talking crazy, she said.”
“I don’t have a problem with crazy, but I’m am not going to let life make a fool out of me, because I’m not a fool.
This is not the first time that something like this has happened to me, and the pattern is always the same, life just waiting to waiting for its opportunity to embarrass me. I owned this car and it started making horrible noise everywhere I went, and it was really embarrassing, because people would stare. Then the one time I needed it to make the noise, in front of the mechanic who was going to fix it, it suddenly became as quiet as a church mouse.
Long story short the mechanic found out what the problem was anyway, and I had him fix it, and then immediately parked the car in front of my lawn with a “for-sale” sign, and never drove it again. I had to sell it. I was never going to let “life” use that car as a vehicle for my embarrassment. If the car never sold then I would have given it away, because even in a no win situation, I was going to declare a draw.
Back to the flashlight, I smashed the flashlight to tell life, or fate, or God, “Hey, you’re not going to make a fool out of me, If life a stage, then I’m not playing that part.
I’m going to expose “life” for what it is, a cheating cock sucker, that doesn’t fight fair, if it did I wouldn’t have to experience life’s bullshit to begin with, and neither would you, and this post is my testament.
Life isn’t fair, my mom told me when I was five years old.
You can dismiss my assumption as ridiculous, because I can’t prove it and it’s not based on logic, however, You cannot dismiss my observation based on insanity, because you have been a victim of this yourself by experience.
“Everybody Plays the Fool” legendary song, written by J.R. Bailey, Rudy Clark and Ken Williams.
I am a professional writer; now click the chick
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