Once in a “Death-Moon”

                                                 “What’s that Flashing.”


“We have a new enemy…”

“I have felt the tremor, my master.”

“Disney must not be allowed to make another sequel.”

Disney is great at taking credit for other people’s work, just like McDonald’s.

McDonald’s didn’t invent the Hamburger

McDonald’s didn’t invent the Drive-Thru

McDonald’s didn’t invent the Death Moon.

I did.

When I was a kid I was the one who came up with the idea for a space station that could destroy an entire planet, but I didn’t call it the “Death Star” I called it the “Death Moon” which is actually much more realistic if you think about it.

No one can build a space station the size of a “Star,” in one lifetime.

Do you know how big a star is???

That’s right its big.!!!

Anyways the “Death Star” couldn’t be done, not in a thousand lifetimes. That’s why I came up with the “Death Moon” because I thought a moon although more probable but just as unlikely, sounded more realistic, if not as impressive.

And my “Death Moon” would change colors right before it destroyed a Planet. It would turn blood-red. Or when they wanted to conserve energy it would turn “Earth Green” or on holiday’s it would blink on and off like a Christmas Tree.

The “Death Moon” could even disguise itself to look like other moons, or planets. For example if the planet was blue like Earth, the Death Moon could turn Blue to disguise itself.

And my moon didn’t have a flaw built into the “Reactor Shaft” which caused it to self-destruct. No engineer is that stupid, or devise it to be that vulnerable because unlike the movies in real-life Engineers are scientists and mathematicians that create things that actually function in the real world.

Unlike teachers or philosophers or script writers for Disney, they actually work for a living.

Can you imagine a scientist smart enough to split the atom, but not smart enough to realize that the government would use that technology to make a bomb???

Just like no government would let a galactic weapon of mass destruction rest solely in the hands of the one man that they were blackmailing.

Can you Imagine creating an ending to a movie with a plot twist that ridiculously simple???

Yea, I saw that last Star Wars Movie, and it was a real tragedy, but not because everybody died at the end.

I haven’t been that depressed since the premier of “The Phantom Menace.” If anything that Death-Star scientist should have designed his technological terror to overheat and have a melt-down, to  make it look like an accident by a faulty nuclear reactor.

And by the time they discovered his ulterior motive, it wouldn’t matter because they wouldn’t be able to stop the “Death Star” from exploding in time anyway.

Think Insurance Fraud.

Star Wars, when you think about it is just another coming of age, father vs son melodrama, and that Skywalker Family were nothing but a bunch of rich, psychotic transgender-bending scumbags, just like the Kardashians.

That Luke Kardashian Skywalker was no hero, let me tell you,

Hey I hated my father too, he was an even bigger asshole than that Anacin Skywalker or whatever the hell he changed his name to after he slipped and fell into that volcano.

But did I drag the entire universe into our family squabble, Hell no!!!

I was the one on Family Feud who called my dad a cock-sucker right before the commercial break. I gave him the right answer but he insisted on giving the wrong one just because he couldn’t think of it first.

Speaking of Family Feud, I can’t wait until Disney secures the rights to that television show, believe me it’s in the works.

“Name the biggest disappointment in Movie History?”

Survey said….

  1. The Phantom Menace

Disney is the Satanic Kingdom, not the Magic Kingdom

Those two idiots were waving their penis-sabers around in a giant cock-fight and that adult metaphor was never lost on me.

Of course, only the Disney company would buy the Star Wars franchise and try to market this metaphor porn as a kid’s movie.

And speaking of sequels aside from The Empire Strikes Back, “Star Whores” a porn parody was better than every other sequel George Lucas ever did.

RIP George, and I mean that, you may not be dead but your career is, give Disney back their money to stop them from making any more sequels. The only reason George Lucas sold his empire to Disney was because the fans turned against him, he didn’t need the fucking money, 4 billion dollars, so what, he would have made that much from the action figure sales alone.

Nobody realized what its like to receive thousands of electronic hate mails every fucking day, except me. When I get one and I’m ready to start drinking again, this motherfucker, gets millions.

So he couldn’t make another movie as good as the original. Babe Ruth didn’t hit a home run every time he was up at the plate, but the fans didn’t turn on him, and he still made it into the Hall of Fame.

George Lucas created an entire fucking universe just like Roddenberry.

Do you believe that George Lucas wants to die being remembered as someone who let his fans down???

Do you honestly believe that Hollywood spends millions of dollars on a gamble on a project that might bankrupt the company?

Your so fucking brilliant why don’t you write your own fucking story, I did! You reading one of many.

It might not be Star Wars, but at least after trying to do my own thing I could really appreciate what this fucking man did.

Let me let you in on a secret, its hard to write a bad movie, let alone a good one.

Does anybody remember Water-world, that fucking piece of shit that  cost over $90 Million Dollars to make?

That means it was a million dollars a minute and that was over twenty five years ago when a million dollars was a lot of money.



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