Back in the 90’s I was a white rapper who opened for Rob (Vanilla Ice) Van Winkle, right before he made it big. It all started when I was in High-School, I was physically smaller that most of the other boys my size.
So I was an easy target for bullies, and after getting beat-up I knew that fighting, at least for me, wasn’t the answer. I had to find another way, sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn’t. But I became very creative.
I was very stubborn so I didn’t care what anybody thought about me. I would rat out anybody who beat me up. One time I was in the principals office. And he looked at me and said, “What do you want me to do?”
Here was a 45, year old man who was asking me a thirteen year old, in the eight grade how to do his job. I told him that he should find another job. And I think my hatred of the school system started then.
When I was back in class I sat down in my seat and the teacher called him up to do a problem on the board. He was in the same row but in the back so as he walk up to the front he slapped the back of my head. I ran to the back where his books were and threw them out the window, back then the windows still opened.
The teacher sent me to the office so I grabbed my backpack and left. On the way out he threatened that he was going to beat me up again. And I said yea but right now your just some asshole looking like a fool in front of the class.
Instead of going to the principles office I went to where his books were and I had a lighter in my pocket so I collected his book in a pile and set them all on fire. I didn’t try to hide I wanted him to know it was me.
See, I knew the one thing that bullies like him were terrified of were crazy people, because crazy people are unpredictable, so that makes them dangerous. If people think your crazy they will leave you the fuck alone.
I got kicked out of school after that and I could not have been happier, until we moved shortly afterward and I had to go to another school. I think I went to a different school almost every year.
I did a lot of crazy shit to defend myself against bullies, I guess I was an easy target because I had a knack for bringing out the worst in people. And one time, I did something really stupid like set the school on fire and somebody called me a “Demon.”
Years later I was in another situation and I was being verbally assaulted by three people for something I never did. They were trying to run me off, but rather than leave I stayed and took them one, not one by one, but all three at the same time, and not only holding my own but winning.
There was nothing so low I wouldn’t talk about and I crossed every line. Nobody had ever seen or done anything like that before. It was so bad that even people from the surrounding crowd even joined in to help them, against me.
But I gave it back until I got the last word, from everybody. Finally someone from the crowd called me “The Devil” again, and then the crowd dispersed until I was left standing there by myself.
When I finished school and graduated I became a teacher because I really wanted to make a difference, but then I realized that I was just as “out of touch” with the current generation, as the teachers were from my generation when I was a student. It’s true we all become our parents.
I really began to hated teaching until I started looking for another job, and I was so desperate to get out that one time when I was looking thru the employment section I saw an ad in the paper for an open mic at some run down shit hole comedy club, and I went down to check it out.
I didn’t know anything about hip-hop, or black music, if you could call hip-hop music then or now, and I didn’t care, I just saw these two inner city black youths screaming obscenities at each other into a microphone and thought “I can do that.”
“In fact I was called worse than that everyday in my own classroom.”
There were never any fights in my classroom because the students knew that I wasn’t going to break it up, fuck it let them kill each other. The one time a fight did break out I just guided them out the door and locked it behind them.
I studied the hip hop scene and heard the names that every other white rapper was using at the time, Ice this and Ice that, and everything was very generic. But I wanted to do something completely different, genuine, and rapping if you were successful paid a hell of a lot more than teaching. Plus entertaining wasn’t even a real job, teaching was.
That night I watching tv and the verdict on the police who beat Rodney King had come in and they were all innocent, and the inner-city started rioting. And then it hit me; that’s what I could bring to the rap world, hatred. What do black people hate more than slavery? Having a white motherfucker rip-off something they actually invented.
Being a white man would not only give me an edge, but a white rapper who was a racist? Razor Sharp.
“White Devil, was born.
“White Devil” was just a schtick of course, and it done very tongue-in-cheek, I was never a racist, then or now, I just needed a gimmick, because I didn’t have a voice, I couldn’t sing, I couldn’t rap, I didn’t play an instrument, but I was a very, very offensive and a complete smart-ass and I could rhythm curse words faster than anyone on the planet, plus I actually had a college degree in English.
So when I used a lot of $50 words I actually knew what they meant, plus I used them in the right context, and when I wrote them down they were in the right structure and syntax. Most other rappers couldn’t even say the words, “I wanna Axe you something?”, and I could legitimately humiliate a rapper while still sounding ghetto. I would even ask a mother fucker the definition of the word he just used, and they were stunned.
The “White Devil” character was shameful but hilarious, I created a whole backstory, Apparently he claimed to be apart of the master race from a foreign land and spoke with a phony German accent that he would frequently forget during his bogus interviews, but nothing he ever claimed he did could ever be verified and his background was always sketchy at best.
White Devil’s controversy started by proclaiming that RAP was created by country folk singer Johnny Cash way back in 1962 with the song “I’ve been everywhere Man,” and that a member of the Sugar Hill Gang or some other long forgotten made-up bullshit rap artist stole the idea from Cash, a poor, southern white boy, and claimed the idea as their own.
The Black Man stole RAP from the White Man, just like everything else, and not the other way around!
Just like Chuck Berry stole the creation of Rock and Roll from Elvis. And that’s the real reason Chuck went to prison and had nothing to do with him having sex with an underage white minor, eluding the police between states in a stolen car while drunk and on probation.
White-Devil was equally hostile to Spanish Speaking people saying that giving the Mexicans a Green-card was like giving them a “License to Steal.” He wasn’t selectively racist thou, he treated all non-white races with equal contempt.
“I discriminate equally.”
He criticized white races that he wasn’t apart of as well:
the Polish were stupid,
the Irish were drunks,
the English had bad teeth because they didn’t brush
the French were filthy….
And then White Devil would bring out “The Mastered Race” a mix of ethnic dancers who had seen the light and now followed him as some kind of cult leader. They were mostly black people in white robes, dancing in unison, with him in the front. White Devil also had a Jewish mixer on the scratch-table, a Puerto-Rican Lawyer, and Body-Guards from Somalia.
Finally in a strange twist of fate White Devil admitted that he supported tearing down the wall in Berlin, so that the East and West could reunite the German people once again, and he could take his rightful place as the leader of Germany, as he claimed to be the illegitimate great grandson of notorious trouble-maker Adolf Hitler.
He rapped about his struggles of illegitimacy with his hit: Straight Outta Dusseldorf
on his 2nd Cd “Dropping Bombs”
As much as he was hated no other rapper white or black or anyone with an IQ above 85 could touch him, He was the best open-mic “freestyle” rapper in the world. And as much as the the fans and other rappers hated him, no one could deny his talent.
Finally “White Devil” cemented his place in history when did something, that no other white rapper had ever done before or since while scheduled to appear at the Apollo, in Harlem New York, ….he actually showed up!!!
White Devil came out as the mystery guest dressed like Elvis to perform to a sold out show and announced that all proceeds were going to be giving to a new foundation he was starting called the N.A.A.A.A or (National Association for the Advancement of African Americans), because personally he thought the word colored people in the N.A.A.C.P was offensive.
After he finished, to as stunned audience, he boasted proudly:
“Sag Nicht White Devil never gave you Nein!”
You could have heard a 40oz break on the floor.
White Devil would hang out with all the other rival rappers backstage, black and white, and he even taught Rob how to play Domino’s because Van Winkle a white kid from the working class suburbs of Texas was unfamiliar. Rob didn’t know anything about card games like Spades, or how to make Kool-Aid, because he and his friends were high-school drop-outs who played “Hacky-Sac” instead which was popular in the suburbs.
White Devil and Vanilla Ice got along famously. Rob confided that he always felt bad that he never knew who his real father was, and wished one day his biological father could see him as a success and make him proud. White Devil would always try and make Rob feel better by telling him a true story from his childhood, which was always worse than whatever Rob had gone thru, for example:
“You wished you knew your Dad, Well I wish I never knew mine, I hated that motherfucker, I even called him by his first name as if he was my step-day, because he could never keep a job, One time he even became a paper-boy. (This was way before Chris Elliot), and made me do the route with him so that everybody thought it my paper-route and that he was helping me out with it, instead of the truth, that it was my dad’s and he was the fucking piece of shit thirty-eight year old paper-boy.
More fans/haters were coming to see White Devil than the headliner himself. The management on the “Ice Ice Baby” tour soon saw White Devil as a phenomenon, and wanted to cash in quick, so they offered to make him the headline, which meant cutting everyone else, including Rob.
White Devil refused. Rob was the one who gave White Devil his chance, the one who offered him a spot on his tour, and after a gig they both played and even offered to buy him dinner at a Chinese restaurant when he found out he didn’t have money to eat with.
“You don’t shit on a man who bought you a Poo-Poo Platter.”
After White Devil refused to turn to protect themselves Promotion, Management, and Sales (PMS), from Rob’s label saw White Devil as a threat and they set him up to expose him as a phony in an ambush interview on a Morning Talk-Show, and doctored a secret genetics test to confirm that he was not the grandson of Adolf Hitler, but instead the illegitimate grandson of Canadian Dog-Catcher Adolf Somerset, and some Vietnamese woman who worked as a dental assistant named Ginger Vitis.
Frothing at the mouth White Devil was carried away by four Black Immigration Agents waiting backstage.
Zat is Bullshitz!!!
The crowd instantly started booing and jeering, pointing their thumbs down, and screaming insults as he left the building.
With his own people turned against him, White Devil was Blacklisted in the United States, and then deported, when they still did that type of thing, banished forever and never to return again. And the rest is history.
So whatever happened to White Devil?
He still remains a cult hero in Germany, and other Countries Abroad. Most of “White Devils hits can still be heard on the radio today, in such progressive cities like Berlin, Vienna, and Toledo.
And I hear plans for a movie is in the works to expose the outrageous and as of yet, untold story of the White Devil.
By popular request Here is additional information about White Devil memorabilia
Below is my Self Titled Debut “White Devil.”
I even had No.1 hit singles outside the United States, like “Double-Wide.”
Below is a picture of my debut CD cover
- Double-wide (Hit)
- Does this look infected?
- My kinda Bullshit
- My Enemies Enemy is an Asshole too
- Mother-Fucker Please !!!
- Snitching out the Neighborhood
- Name your Firstborn after Me
- …that was my twin brother Larry
Here’s a sample of my Double-Wide lyrics…
Just cause I live with my mom’s…
doesn’t mean I’m not the bombs, (bombz)
II. White Devil: Dropping Bombs
Now here is the front and back cover of my second Cd: Dropping Bombs
Front Cover Back Cover
- Stinky Panties
- Shut Up Bitch
- Live by the AK-47; Die by the AK-47
- White Power
- 4th Reich
- Were All Adolf’s Children
- Straight Outta Dusseldorf (Germany)
- Tang: Rich Man’s Kool-Aid
- Foreign; not Domestic
- Whiter the Cane; Sweeter the Sugar
A lot of people think this is a hoax, but it’s not and if you never heard of “White Devil” it’s because you are suffering from the “Mandela Effect.” The easiest way to explain the “Mandela Effect” is when you hear something for the first time but it sounds familiar, like it already existed forever, but never did. And you can’t find any record of it in history.
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